this morning i went blading with jac ow at east coast park and it was truly an experience. i fell, pleaded and even threatened to throw her in the sea. however, when we finished, i could skate reasonably well by then, which i am happy for =) however now i have an aching body.
i'm glad that me and jac ow spent time together this hols. i missed her a lot. i hadn't properly talked to her for ages. we used the time to catch up. after blading, we went to the library where i borrowed three books and then we went to parkway for lunch. that girl is working so hard, it's amazing. i wouldn't be able to stand working nine hours every day at macs. i'd collapse and die. actually, OBS made me realise how seless i was. i'm super unfit and always, always, i get out of these scenarios bcuz people lend me a helping hand. the people surrounding me are so awesome, i love them so much =) i can't ever, ever take them for granted. they are so brilliant and good and kind-hearted and they care about me a lot and i must make sure i return the gesture and help them out whenever possible too.
so, anyway, like i was saying, OBS made me realise how useless i was. the backpack was ALWAYS too heavy and someone ALWAYS had to support me or hold my hand. i couldn't reach the top of the stupid wall, i was doing more harm than good duing the kayaking.. in general, i am a useless, spoilt girl. sigh.
auntie nora came back today a married woman. i was 100% sure that she would return, although my mother kept saying things like, "she might not return, you know." all the things she said that pointed to auntie nora NOT returning just made me irritated. i was so sure that she would return. that kind of without-a-doubt sure, willing to bet everything i have kind of sure. and i was angry with my mother for not thinking the same way as me. i felt that our family and auntie nora had this kind of connection, that auntie nora was more like an older sister than our domestic helper. and i was right. she came back. however, i have a confession to make: her flight was supposed to land at six something, by seven she still didn't call and i looked at my mum's face, she looked resigned, with that kind of i-knew-it expression and i was so crushed. my strong belief finally- after two weeks- collapsed. when she walked through the door, i threw my arms around her and still, i felt so guilty for doubting.
she's back now. yay~ =)
a conversation i had today made me realise: it's in a human's nature to be competitive, to want to rise above someone else, be it your best friend, your rival, your enemy. you can't help it. you're aware of it. you feel guilty for a while, then lose yourself in trying to surpass her once again. it could be the trivialest of things, like whose handwriting's nicer or who's got nicer hair, or who has more friends, or who beats the other in studies. i think that as long as you know that the competitiveness is healthy, and not obsessive i-need-to-beat-her kind of competitiveness, it's okay, and as long as the two of you can maintain a healthy relationship with each other.
so cheer up, you know who you are. =)
hoorah! sleep over tomorrow!
i'm seeing charleen on friday! i haven't talked to her for ages, we have so much to talk about. i need to tell her important things. we shall watch mr and mrs smith! hoorah! i bet she's grown taller.
i feel like devouring all my books. and i want more, more, more! leave me in a library and i'll be happy. =) blessed, at
8:04 PM
kathleen ong xinwei
tkgian. 4e9 '06. dance club
new creation church
to glorify His name all my life :)
to get into VJC
and into Oxford unversity
all family and friends to be blessed, always
