past twelve last night i was smsing gourie and our conversation made me realise something very important: dreams are very important to a person.
of course i've always known that, but the realization sunk in really deep yesterday. i realise that i have the next few years of my life planned out already. i want to get below ten for my L1R5 for my O's, get into vj, mug super super hard during my jc years, get a scholarship and fly to oxford. i won't settle for anything less.
but there's this annoying voice in my head saying, "are you sure? can you get there? dream on, little girl!" and then i'll think, "oh man, that little voice is right. i can't get in. it's a dream i'll never achieve." after all, my grades aren'y top of the class, i tend to want to go shopping more than study, i tend to tune out the teachers during lessons.. with all these iniquities, how am i ever going to achieve my dream? sigh.
but then i would think, "yes! i can do this!" and then, somehow, in my mind, i'm already on the plane to oxford.
heaven. mm.
me and my family walked around the campus of oxford uni last year when we went to london for a holiday. we drove to oxford and i fell in love with everything. the libraries, the buildings, the plants, the statues, the gates, the sweaters, the shops, the school. the school is enormous. but we weren't allowed into campus, so we had to make do with wandering around outside campus. that didn't stop me from peering inside every hole i could find on the stone walls. the sweetest thing was, that i could imagine myself there. studying there and sleeping there and eating there and wearing oxford jumpers and sending my family emails telling them how much i love them and miss them and spending a lot of money on phone bills calling my friends in spore...
and then i think again, "just a nice dream"
i have to think positive. i have to study consistently. i cannot slack. i must treat tuition like a blessing. i must make use of my assessment books. i can't let them lie around looking forlorn.
gourie shall get into harvard and i shall get into oxford and we shall write letters to each other and be happy.
and then i'll tell her, "yo gou, we did it."
and she'll go, "yeah."
and i'll be so happy because i've achieved my dream and i wouldn't want anything else.
except maybe pocky to celebrate.
i shall pray that my dreams'll come true. blessed, at
1:02 AM
kathleen ong xinwei
tkgian. 4e9 '06. dance club
new creation church
to glorify His name all my life :)
to get into VJC
and into Oxford unversity
all family and friends to be blessed, always
