second day of school. i had stomach aches, so no tuition today. whee~ listening to songs about christ now. iloveiloveilove.
sleepyhead.
praying for: ~phoe to recover ~ethel to recover ~gou to recover ~abby to recover ~gd marks for combined humans ca ~jiayi ~jacqueline owyong blessed, at
6:11 PM
Monday, June 27, 2005
praying for ~ phoebe to recover. being ill in another country must be the pits. ~ ethel to recover. being ill in spore is alos not good. ~ jiayi to cheer up and to know that i'm always here for her. blessed, at
4:46 PM
Sunday, June 26, 2005
just returned frmo watching batman begins. it's a good movie.
school starts tomorrow. where have the hols gone?? blessed, at
4:34 PM
i shall go jogging in the morning with mei. i shall, i shall. wake up on time!!! blessed, at
12:21 AM
Saturday, June 25, 2005
today i was supposed to go for D.A.R.E service with ethel but she got a high fever. get well soon, girl =) 40 degrees is very high. take your fluids!
today shall be a day of studying! study, study, study, then i gotta go visit my old neighbours. i don't even remember what they look like, but mummy and daddy say that it's imperitive to go, so i shall. grr.
two more days till school starts! the hols have whooshed past incredibly fast! blessed, at
10:42 AM
Friday, June 24, 2005
mei's pretending to be sleeping. ahaha. i can see through her guise. =)
tomorrow morning there's tuition. bleahh. so boring. i suddenly feel like going to church. feeling kinda sad and kinda happy that school's starting again. how wonderful that i can see my friends again, yet, sad bcuz i can't idle around anymore, not worrying about anything school-related. i think tomorrow i'm gonna study for the upcoming history ca. i don't know what we have to study for social studies tho. sigh.
once school starts, they will be no more going on msn for me, no more time to read, no more time to surf the net, no more time to blog so frequently, no more time to go out, less neos, less shopping, more mugging, more stress, bigger eyebags. blah.
poo.
i miss my bestfriend =(
to think i was high just now. blessed, at
1:18 AM
what a wondeful world =) blessed, at
1:12 AM
Thursday, June 23, 2005
i pray for: ~* patience ~* self- discipline ~* preserverance ~* diligence ~* mummy ~* myself blessed, at
6:31 PM
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
finished life of pi. started on someone like you.
feel studious. yet another rare case. shall work tonight, promise. blessed, at
6:56 PM
don't like being yelled at... :( blessed, at
6:53 PM
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
"..so i was there with my other friends but it wasn't the same!"
"the same thing happened to me, with my new friends, i totally understand how you feel!"
"it's so weird, right? like something's missing.."
friends may drift apart, but memories never fade. the best ones cling to you forever, whether you ilke it or not.
i love my friends. old and new. blessed, at
11:52 PM
today, me, siwei, krissa and steph chua went to lido and we saw edison chen AND jay chou!! there were other actors from initial d as well but i don't care about them ><; ahehe. at first, we met up at orchard and wandered around a bit and then went to heeren to take loads of neos, which was so awesomely fun! and then we went to have lunch at cinilei and then we stood ourside lido for four hours i think. it was truly an experience. steph chua didn't feel too good, i guess it was the crowd. it was a terrible crowd. we were pushed, kicked, prodded, hassled, yelled at (by policemen) and to top it off, standing for 4 straight hours is not easy, i tell you. i felt a little nauseous myself. so i took steph away for some fresh air (the female policewoman let us) but afterwards the male policeman didn't let us back in! so idiotic. then we waited outside with bated breath tilll krissa told the policewoman to come fetch us. praise god! it was a miracle. another miracle happeend today cuaz we realised that we had made it just in time, bcuz a little while after we arrived and planted ourselves in the crowd, the policepeeps started to block ppl from coming in. it was a massice crowd. the crowd stretched all the way from lido to borders. it was enormous!!! we talked to pass the time, i bet some ppl had been there since two or three (we joined at five) armed with signs and banners and everything. jay fans. my only priority were jay and edison. the shuaiest guys ever!! whoo~ haha.
reached home at ten something, sleepy and with a blister on my foot.
boo.
but jay!! yay! blessed, at
11:20 PM
**[~~holiday~~]** by green day
hear the sound of the falling rain coming down like an armageddon plague (HEY!) the shame, the ones who die without a name
there's a song sounding out of key to a hymn called faith and misery (Hey!) a plead, the company lost the war today
i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies this is the dawning of the rest of our lives on holiday
there's a drum pounding out of time another protestor has crossed the line (HEY!) the line, the money's on the other side
can I get another amen (AMEN!) there's a rag wrapped around the score of men (HEY!) a gag, a plastic bag on a monument
i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies this is the dawning of the rest of our lives on holiday
"the representative from california has the floor"
seek out to the president gasbag bombs away is your punishment pulverize the Eiffel tower and criticize the government bang bang goes the broken glass man kill all the fags that don't agree triumph by fires, sinning buyers thats not a way that's meant for me thank god, check out we're going on a holiday
i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies this is the dawning of the rest of our lives i beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies this is the dawning of the rest of our lives
this is our lives on holiday blessed, at
10:27 AM
i can all kinds of weird things in my email. and i'm pretty sure that they're not legal.
hoorah! going out with siwei, steph chua and krissa today. i heard from siwei last night that jay chou AND edison chen would be at lido tonightmor the gala permiere! i really, really want to go, but it's past my curfew and i'm sure that we'd be trampled by the crowd. sigh.
life of pi is very, very good. i like. still reading.
going to the hospice with gou on friday. i wonder what we'll be doing there. blessed, at
10:19 AM
have changed my mind about life of pi. it's rather interesting. pi is a christian, a muslim AND a hindu. and all bcuz he wants to love god. it's super touching. blessed, at
12:56 AM
Monday, June 20, 2005
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
Marcel Proust blessed, at
6:22 PM
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking across the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. he also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You the most You would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My son, my precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you." blessed, at
6:17 PM
And A Meadow Lark Sang
"The child whispered, 'God, speak to me' And a meadow lark sang. The child did not hear.
So the child yelled, 'God, speak to me!' And the thunder rolled across the sky But the child did not listen.
The child looked around and said, 'God let me see you' and a star shone brightly But the child did not notice.
And the child shouted, 'God show me a miracle!' And a life was born but the child did not know.
So the child cried out in despair, 'Touch me God, and let me know you are here!' Whereupon God reached down And touched the child.
But the child brushed the butterfly away And walked away unknowingly." blessed, at
6:09 PM
fiqqie just sent this to me, i thought it was interesting.
Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person?
Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart are real weak and most susceptible?
Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?
Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are 'I love you', 'Sorry' and 'help me'? The people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.
Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?
Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?
Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?
Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?
Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?
Did you know that those who need more of you are those that don't mention it to you?
Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?
Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?
Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?
Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.
Did you know that If the world were to end in 24 hours, all the phone lines, chat rooms and e-mails will be saturated from people sending messages to others, saying: "I regret having made you feel bad", "Pardon me", "I love you", I hold you in high esteem", take good care of yourself" and sometimes "I have always loved you, only I never told you". blessed, at
6:02 PM
this holiday i've been consumed with the urge to devour as many books as i can read. have currently started on life of pi and so far, it's been a little dull.
mei just told me not to eat any more bananas. so evil. i like bananas. hmf. blessed, at
2:10 PM
i finished memoirs of a geisha last night. it was definitely interesting. going to start on life with pi today.
but i didn't read my bible. boohoo. =(
slept at four last night. oooh, eyebagseyebags.
hoorah! tomorrow i'm going out with siwei and steph chua and krissa to watch... oh, i don't know yet. but it's been AGES since i've gone out with them and i miss them terribly. blessed, at
12:04 PM
Sunday, June 19, 2005
today i went to church with xuan. i was late!! ohno. i overslept, was up all night reading. glad i spent some time with xuan. i missed her alotalot. hee. and after service i went to join daddy and mei at kinokuniya and my darling daddy bought me five books: life with pi, memoirs of a geisha, great expectations, someone like you and my story. praise god! =) i have so many wonderful books to read! blessed, at
1:22 PM
Saturday, June 18, 2005
i feel terrible. i hate organic food. i want to throw up.
i finished lord of the flies. loved it and hted it. loved it bcuz it was thought-provoking and i've enver read a book like it before. it's so unique in it's disturbing little way. hated it bcuz even after i finished reading the book, i still don't understand it. not yet anyway. i'm going to reread it again. so i can proudly tell daddy (who's got honours for lit) that i understand it.
i just did some research on the net about lord of the flies. and omg, the symbolism in lotf is so amazing.
Symbolism In Lord of the Flies
Symbolism played an important part in the development of story. This narrative technique is used to give a significance to certain people or objects, which represent some other figure. The following table lists many of the examples of symbolism used throughout Golding's book. Object/Character Represents Piggy (and Glasses) Clear-sightedness, intelligence. Their state represents the status of social order. Ralph, The Conch Democracy, Order Simon Pure Goodness, "Christ Figure" Roger Evil, Satan Jack Savagery, Anarchy The Island A microcosm representing the world The "Scar" Man's destruction, destructive forces The Beast The evil residing within everyone, the dark side of human nature. Lord of the Flies The Devil, great danger or evil
There are many other aspects in the story that may be considered symbolism, but the several above are probably the most significant. Another good example of symbolism, brought to my attention by a site visitor, is the shape of the island. The boat shape of the island is an ancient symbol of civilization. The water current around the island seems to be "flowing backwards," giving the subtle impression that civilization may be going backwards for the island or its inhabitants. Additionally, another reader pointed out that Jack could also represent Communism or Fascism. Golding was influenced by events during the time period that the book was written, which was around World War II.
Themes William Golding presented numerous themes and basic ideas that give the reader something to think about. One of the most basic and obvious themes is that society holds everyone together, and without these conditions, our ideals, values, and the basics of right and wrong are lost. Without society's rigid rules, anarchy and savagery can come to light.
Golding is also showing that morals come directly from our surroundings, and if there is no civilization around us, we will lose these values.
Other secondary themes include the following: People will abuse power when it's not earned. When given a chance, people often single out another to degrade to improve their own security. You can only cover up inner savagery so long before it breaks out, given the right situation. It's better to examine the consequences of a decision before you make it than to discover them afterward. The fear of the unknown can be a powerful force, which can turn you to either insight or hysteria.
so amazing, yeah? blessed, at
9:38 PM
Friday, June 17, 2005
i went out with charleen and we went to watch mr and mrs smith. it was a hilarious movie. after that we wandered around a while, took neos, the usual. glad i saw her again. =)
i'm reading lord of the flies now. it's captivating. william golding is a marvel. i want to read amy tan's other books. i think she's a total genius (i mentioned that already, i think). i'm also gonna start on catcher in the rye tonight (about time!). so for the next few nights i'll be reading 4 books every night: bible, cup of comfort devotional, catcher in the rye and lord of the flies. i read a little every night, like i only read a page of cup of comfort and i think 4 chapters of the bible and i try to read as much of my other two books as possible.
i have a sudden urge for school to start soon. how weird.
a secret: the letters in my sister's name can be rearranged to spell STINKER. how amusing. =) shall save the info for a rainy day.
i like popcorn. the one sold at gv tampines is awesome. i think mum will pulverise me for eating that unhealthy, sinful thing. blessed, at
9:33 PM
i fogrot to mention: i finished hebrews and james and 1john, 2 john and 3john in the bible. am very proud of myself *beams*
finished hundred secret senses. i think that amy tan is a genius. i'm going to look for more of her books. am going to read lord of the flies by william golding now. it's supposed to be a good book. blessed, at
10:00 AM
Oxford is a unique and historic institution. As the oldest English-speaking university in the world, it can lay claim to nine centuries of continuous existence. There is no clear date of foundation, but teaching existed at Oxford in some form in 1096 and developed rapidly from 1167, when Henry II banned English students from attending the University of Paris.
In 1188, the historian, Gerald of Wales, gave a public reading to the assembled Oxford dons and in 1190 the arrival of Emo of Friesland, the first known overseas student, set in train the University's tradition of international scholarly links. By 1201, the University was headed by a magister scolarum Oxonie, on whom the title of Chancellor was conferred in 1214, and in 1231 the masters were recognized as a universitas or corporation.
In the 13th century, rioting between town and gown (townspeople and students) hastened the establishment of primitive halls of residence. These were succeeded by the first of Oxford's colleges, which began as medieval 'halls of residence' or endowed houses under the supervision of a Master. University, Balliol and Merton Colleges, established between 1249 and 1264, are the oldest.
Less than a century later, Oxford had achieved eminence above every other seat of learning, and won the praises of popes, kings and sages by virtue of its antiquity, curriculum, doctrine and privileges. In 1355, Edward III paid tribute to the University for its invaluable contribution to learning; he also commented on the services rendered to the state by distinguished Oxford graduates. Map of Oxford dated 1644
Oxford early on became a centre for lively controversy, with scholars involved in religious and political disputes. John Wyclif, a 14th-century Master of Balliol, campaigned for a bible in the vernacular, against the wishes of the papacy. In 1530, Henry VIII forced the University to accept his divorce from Catherine of Aragon. During the Reformation in the 16th century, the Anglican churchmen Cranmer, Latimer and Ridley were tried for heresy and burnt at the stake in Oxford. The University was Royalist in the Civil War, and Charles I held a counter-Parliament in Convocation House.
In the late 17th century, the Oxford philosopher John Locke, suspected of treason, was forced to flee the country. The 18th century, when Oxford was said to have forsaken port for politics, was also an era of scientific discovery and religious revival. Edmund Halley, Professor of Geometry, predicted the return of the comet that bears his name; John and Charles Wesley's prayer meetings laid the foundations of the Methodist Society.
The University assumed a leading role in the Victorian era, especially in religious controversy. From 1833 onwards The Oxford Movement sought to revitalise the Catholic aspects of the Anglican Church. One of its leaders, John Henry Newman, became a Roman Catholic in 1845 and was later made a Cardinal. In 1860 the new University Museum was the scene of a famous debate between Thomas Huxley, champion of evolution, and Bishop Wilberforce.
From 1878, academic halls were established for women, who became members of the University in 1920. Since 1974, all but one of Oxford's 39 colleges have changed their statutes to admit both men and women. St Hilda's remains the only women's college.
During the 20th century, Oxford added to its humanistic core a major new research capacity in the natural and applied sciences, including medicine. In so doing, it has enhanced and strengthened its traditional role as an international focus for learning and a forum for intellectual debate. blessed, at
9:58 AM
Oxford is the oldest university in the English-speaking world and lays claim to nine centuries of continuous existence. As an internationally renowned centre for teaching and research, Oxford attracts students and scholars from across the globe, with almost a quarter of our students from overseas. More than 130 nationalities are represented among a student population of over 16,000.
Oxford is a collegiate university, with 39 self-governing colleges related to the University in a type of federal system. There are also seven Permanent Private Halls, founded by different Christian denominations. Thirty colleges and all halls admit students for both undergraduate and graduate degrees. Seven other colleges are for graduates only; one has Fellows only, and one specializes in part-time and continuing education. blessed, at
9:54 AM
“Come to the edge.” “We can't. We're afraid.” “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We will fall!” “Come to the edge.” And they came. And he pushed them. And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918 blessed, at
9:45 AM
If I could, I'd comb the sky and collect the stars, quickly pile them into a basket until it overflowed with silvery light. And then I'd give the basket to you, because all things precious and beautiful should be yours today. blessed, at
9:32 AM
"We will meet again my friend, A hundred years from today Far away from where we lived And where we used to play.
We will know each others’ eyes And wonder where we met Your laugh will sound familiar Your heart, I won’t forget.
We will meet, I’m sure of this, But let’s not wait till then... Let’s take a walk beneath the stars And share this world again.”
-Ron Atchison blessed, at
9:30 AM
joy to the world.. tuition was cancelled.. lao shi overslept.. so.. yay! =)
watching mr and mrs smith later with charleen.. can't wait. we shall take neos and be happy!
am going to spnd time with mei this saturday. ethel invited me to D.A.R.E service and i had agreed, forgetting that i had promised mei that i would spend time with her this saturday. no wonder she flashed that striken look at me during tuition when i had agreed to ethel's request. ah. so now i'm going for D.A.R.E next service and shall spend the saturday with my beloved sister. at first i thought that by the phrase 'spend time', we'd be watching a movie, or shopping, but noo, the girl wants to study at home. gr. so i challenged her to study with me for six hours straight. ha! bet she can't. i want to study at starbucks but she doesn't want to and mum's siding with her. eeevil. they just don't see the logic. there are like, a millioin and on distractions at home.. home is our comfort zone.. so easy to get distracted, whilst at starbucks, you're in public, you can't do anything that makes you look like a sloth or a slob. so, hence, i vote starbucks. how unfortunate that no one agrees with me *sob* blessed, at
9:11 AM
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. -Tagore blessed, at
8:40 PM
i am feeling studious. how rare.
sigh. i miss kim. we have, out of desperation for each other's company, resorted to emailing each other alotalot. sigh.
lol.. jac chua told me that she called kim andrea. apparently kim huffed. jac's terrible with names! she talked to me and knew my name before OBS, then asked me "what's your name?" *during* OBS and *after* OBS, asked, "you're kathleen, right?" i was shocked! i thought that we had.. well, bonnded during OBS or something. but that's what makes her cute. =)
hoorah! meeting darling friend tomorrow. it's so sad i only see her once or twice a year.. i want to be taller than her! i bet she has a bf.
i like chocs. they give me endorphins. lovely.
i shall go study now till the enthuiasm runs out.
ta! blessed, at
8:35 PM
i just came back from gourie's place. sleepover. so fun!
i love her family. they're so jovial. it's such a joy to see them bicker. ahaha. but seriously, they're such a happy bunch.
sigh. tuition later.
meeting charleen tomorrow! can't wait! i haven't seen her since forever. blessed, at
10:59 AM
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more. Jules Renard blessed, at
1:33 AM
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Every man dies. Not every man truly lives. ~Braveheart
*sniff* blessed, at
9:37 PM
sometimes i think i think too much.
in conclusion,
i have too much time on my hands. blessed, at
9:28 PM
" Life is your canvas. As a soul, you choose your starting colors - which are your body, your human personality, your country and family of birth. Then you come into your life, with your paintbrushes and colors ready to begin the artwork called your life. This is where most people get stuck. They hand their brushes and paints over to others and wonder later why the painting called their life, is not what they wanted it to be. Your life is not anyone else's fault or responsibility. Your life purpose is to hold your paintbrushes with joy and to paint a picture of life that is true to you - it can never be right or wrong, and you cannot fail at it."
" The word "FAITH" itself is an acronym of the sentence FIND AFFECTION & INSPIRATION THROUGH HIM! (Almighty God !)" blessed, at
9:27 PM
"After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box." Italian Proverb
so true. i love quotes. they make me think. blessed, at
9:08 PM
"Visualize this thing you want. See it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin. " by Robert Collier
Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. Leon J. Suenes
Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. Ralph Blum
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. Henry David Thoreau blessed, at
8:56 PM
it's hopeless. i won't be able to finish my bible by october. sob.
books i want to read: the garlic ballads the catcher in the rye thank you, jeeves eragon the asylum dance memoirs from the house of the dead nail and other stories i am a cat startling moon enigma a short history of nearly everything jane eyre
this morning i went blading with jac ow at east coast park and it was truly an experience. i fell, pleaded and even threatened to throw her in the sea. however, when we finished, i could skate reasonably well by then, which i am happy for =) however now i have an aching body.
i'm glad that me and jac ow spent time together this hols. i missed her a lot. i hadn't properly talked to her for ages. we used the time to catch up. after blading, we went to the library where i borrowed three books and then we went to parkway for lunch. that girl is working so hard, it's amazing. i wouldn't be able to stand working nine hours every day at macs. i'd collapse and die. actually, OBS made me realise how seless i was. i'm super unfit and always, always, i get out of these scenarios bcuz people lend me a helping hand. the people surrounding me are so awesome, i love them so much =) i can't ever, ever take them for granted. they are so brilliant and good and kind-hearted and they care about me a lot and i must make sure i return the gesture and help them out whenever possible too.
so, anyway, like i was saying, OBS made me realise how useless i was. the backpack was ALWAYS too heavy and someone ALWAYS had to support me or hold my hand. i couldn't reach the top of the stupid wall, i was doing more harm than good duing the kayaking.. in general, i am a useless, spoilt girl. sigh.
auntie nora came back today a married woman. i was 100% sure that she would return, although my mother kept saying things like, "she might not return, you know." all the things she said that pointed to auntie nora NOT returning just made me irritated. i was so sure that she would return. that kind of without-a-doubt sure, willing to bet everything i have kind of sure. and i was angry with my mother for not thinking the same way as me. i felt that our family and auntie nora had this kind of connection, that auntie nora was more like an older sister than our domestic helper. and i was right. she came back. however, i have a confession to make: her flight was supposed to land at six something, by seven she still didn't call and i looked at my mum's face, she looked resigned, with that kind of i-knew-it expression and i was so crushed. my strong belief finally- after two weeks- collapsed. when she walked through the door, i threw my arms around her and still, i felt so guilty for doubting.
she's back now. yay~ =)
a conversation i had today made me realise: it's in a human's nature to be competitive, to want to rise above someone else, be it your best friend, your rival, your enemy. you can't help it. you're aware of it. you feel guilty for a while, then lose yourself in trying to surpass her once again. it could be the trivialest of things, like whose handwriting's nicer or who's got nicer hair, or who has more friends, or who beats the other in studies. i think that as long as you know that the competitiveness is healthy, and not obsessive i-need-to-beat-her kind of competitiveness, it's okay, and as long as the two of you can maintain a healthy relationship with each other.
so cheer up, you know who you are. =)
hoorah! sleep over tomorrow!
i'm seeing charleen on friday! i haven't talked to her for ages, we have so much to talk about. i need to tell her important things. we shall watch mr and mrs smith! hoorah! i bet she's grown taller.
i feel like devouring all my books. and i want more, more, more! leave me in a library and i'll be happy. =) blessed, at
8:04 PM
" Live for the moments that are unexplainable, the moments that you say, 'You just had to be there'." blessed, at
12:49 PM
Monday, June 13, 2005
**[~~imcomplete~~]** by bsb
empty spaces fill me up with holes distant faces with no place left to go without you within me i can’t find no rest where i’m going is anybody’s guess
i’ve tried to go on like i never knew you i’m awake but my world is half asleep i pray for this heart to be unbroken but without you all i’m going to be is incomplete
voices tell me i should carry on but i am swimming in an ocean all alone baby, my baby it’s written on your face you still wonder if we made a big mistake
i’ve tried to go on like i never knew you i’m awake but my world is half asleep i pray for this heart to be unbroken but without you all i’m going to be is incomplete
i don’t mean to drag it on, but i can’t seem to let you go i don’t wanna make you face this world alone i wanna let you go (alone)
i’ve tried to go on like i never knew you i’m awake but my world is half asleep i pray for this heart to be unbroken but without you all i’m going to be is incomplete blessed, at
3:37 PM
the more Christ's love within us grows, the more His graciousness outflows; and when we face a fiery test, his love we then will manifest -hess blessed, at
3:32 PM
i'm being tempted again. i'm now using the comp, when i'm supposed to be studying, or reading the bible. i shall stop using the comp at eleven thirty.
i shall finish acts in the bible today and finish up my chem paper. blessed, at
10:34 AM
hopefully, if i'm consistent enough, i'll be able to finish my bible by october. then i shall go and eat chocs to celebrate!
sigh. i need to lose weight.
hoorah! am meeting jac ow on tuesday at MPCL. i haven't talked properly to her for ages! and hoorah! meeting charleen on friday. i haven't seen her since last year and i'm pining. and yay! study group with gou on monday.
i need to remember to change tuition days now that i have dance on thursday. i shall change it to monday.
two weeks of the hols are over. so fast! and i need to start studying or i'll never be able to catch up.
i really, really want to read 'the purpose driven life'.
i'm still reading 'waiting' but i changed my mind, i'm gonna read 'hundred secret senses' after that so i can return on tuesday when i go with jac ow.
i need to put the surname at the back of the 'jac' because i know 2 jacs and it's terribly confusing. ahaha.
i want to buy the hillsongs cd. i totally regret not buying that day (tho i didn't hae enough money anyway).
sigh. the peeps are all in nz by now. so envious.
i need to reply kim's email!
i'm so bored.
i should be sleeping now.
sigh. blessed, at
1:04 AM
past twelve last night i was smsing gourie and our conversation made me realise something very important: dreams are very important to a person.
of course i've always known that, but the realization sunk in really deep yesterday. i realise that i have the next few years of my life planned out already. i want to get below ten for my L1R5 for my O's, get into vj, mug super super hard during my jc years, get a scholarship and fly to oxford. i won't settle for anything less.
but there's this annoying voice in my head saying, "are you sure? can you get there? dream on, little girl!" and then i'll think, "oh man, that little voice is right. i can't get in. it's a dream i'll never achieve." after all, my grades aren'y top of the class, i tend to want to go shopping more than study, i tend to tune out the teachers during lessons.. with all these iniquities, how am i ever going to achieve my dream? sigh.
but then i would think, "yes! i can do this!" and then, somehow, in my mind, i'm already on the plane to oxford.
heaven. mm.
me and my family walked around the campus of oxford uni last year when we went to london for a holiday. we drove to oxford and i fell in love with everything. the libraries, the buildings, the plants, the statues, the gates, the sweaters, the shops, the school. the school is enormous. but we weren't allowed into campus, so we had to make do with wandering around outside campus. that didn't stop me from peering inside every hole i could find on the stone walls. the sweetest thing was, that i could imagine myself there. studying there and sleeping there and eating there and wearing oxford jumpers and sending my family emails telling them how much i love them and miss them and spending a lot of money on phone bills calling my friends in spore...
and then i think again, "just a nice dream"
i have to think positive. i have to study consistently. i cannot slack. i must treat tuition like a blessing. i must make use of my assessment books. i can't let them lie around looking forlorn.
gourie shall get into harvard and i shall get into oxford and we shall write letters to each other and be happy.
and then i'll tell her, "yo gou, we did it."
and she'll go, "yeah."
and i'll be so happy because i've achieved my dream and i wouldn't want anything else.
except maybe pocky to celebrate.
i shall pray that my dreams'll come true. blessed, at
1:02 AM
**[~~free~~]** from the hillsongs cd
would you believe me if i said that we are the ones who can make the change in the world today would you believe me if i said that all of the dreams in your heart came true today would you belive me if i said that life can be all that you want it to be yeah
and if i had wings i would fly cuz all that i need, you are and if the world caved in around me to you i'd still hold on cuz you're all that i believe you're the one who created me JESUS, because of you, i'm free.
would you belive me if i said that GOd can make miracles happen today yeah yeah would you belive me if i said that you don't need to pray for the answer before you step out in faith would you believe me if i said that nothing is ever impossible for God yeah
and if i had wings i would fly cuz all that i need, you are and if the world caved in around me to you i'd still hold on cuz you're all that i believe you're the one who created me JESUS, because of you, i'm free.
just live your life with God inside you won't regret one moment of it just give all that you can for God for God
and if i had wings i would fly cuz all that i need, you are and if the world caved in around me to you i'd still hold on cuz you're all that i believe you're the one who created me JESUS, because of you, i'm free.
and if i had wings i would fly cuz all that i need, you are and if the world caved in around me to you i'd still hold on cuz you're all that i believe you're the one who created me JESUS, because of you, i'm free. blessed, at
1:00 AM
Sunday, June 12, 2005
**[~~collide~]** by howie day
the dawn is breaking a light shining through you're barely waking and i'm tangled up in you yeah
but i'm open, you're closed where I follow, you'll go i worry i won't see your face light up again
even the best fall down sometimes even the wrong words seem to rhyme out of the doubt that fills my mind i somehow find, you and i collide
i'm quiet, you know you make a first impression i've found i'm scared to know i'm always on your mind
even the best fall down sometimes even the wrong words seem to rhyme out of the doubt that fills my mind i somehow find, you and i collide
don't stop here i've lost my place i'm close behind
even the best fall down sometimes even the wrong words seem to rhyme out of the doubt that fills my mind i somehow find, you and i collide
you finally find you and I collide you finally find you and I collide blessed, at
7:42 PM
phoe flew off to nz today. i feel sad. =(
i couldn't pat attention to the sermon in church today. where is pastor prince? *wail* not that i don't like pastor joshua. he's nice, but he can't capture my attention like pastor prince can. after service ended, i said a tearful goodbye to my dear friend and mournfully made my way to tm to meet my parents. evil phoe. hmf. leave us for 5 weeks (which is like, HALF A TERM and ONE TENTH OF A YEAR!!). i'll be so bored without her. come back soon, phoe, so we can both talk rubbish to each other and gossip and entertain each other. and what you wrote on your blog was so sweet, darl. and yes, i read my bible everyday, it's such a joy to read. =)
i want to get 'the purpose driven life'. it sounds so inspirational. blessed, at
7:36 PM
Saturday, June 11, 2005
today shall be a boring day.
i shall memorise the ten commandments, the seven heresies and the four spiritual laws!! =)
and i shall finish reading 'waiting' and then read 'the hundred secret senses' together with 'the garlic ballads'. ahaha. all asian authors i've been reading. so after reading those, i shall read 'lord of the flies' by william golding.
mm. i love pao. blessed, at
11:08 AM
Friday, June 10, 2005
i spent a nice night with my sis and now we're fighting again. sigh.
okay, to make up for the lack of blogging that i've done, i shall blog a long entry today.
i've not been going out so often this week, cuz i realised that i've ot been spending time at home. and, i'm ashamed to say this, but i've been very bored at home =( so i fill my time with books and the bible and the computer.
however, today, mum dropped the bombshell on us. from next week onwards, we can only use the comp or the laptop after tuition everyday. and on days we don't have tuition, we can't use the comp at all. sigh. fine. i need to catch upon my work anyway.
i have craaamps.
i shall read more! i finshed anne frank's diary and joy luck club already. and now i understand why on the cover page of joy luck, that the washington post book world said that it was 'powerful as myth'. the book's really intriguing. i'm also reading 'waiting', by ha jin. after that i shall go on to read 'the garlic ballads' by mo yan. both books were introed to me by my mum.
i am irritated with my comp. i can't tag xuan's tagboard. hmf.
i am saaad with my new hair. gourie told me to take a picture with my phone and send it to her and i did but she couldn't receive it. my ponytail is so much smaller now. and i can't tie up my fringe. i went to cut at far east plaza, cuz dean shifted place. i think his neighbours down at changi were giving him trouble. he looks really effeminate (sp?) but is a nice man, really.
i shall go to the library more often and borrow books that are popular with the Borders bestseller list. speaking of borders, on monday, after a maths sup lessons, me and jac chua headed down there, getting a little lost as we made our way there. we spent most of the time gossiping and talking. i think what she said about someone proposing to you in a bookshop was terribly romantic. *swoon* and we ate carrot cake at the coffee bean, which i didn't think was bad but jac said that she didn't like it. we prebooked harry potter (6 more weeks!) which costed us ten bucks but later i went home and there was a flyer in the mail which said that for ten bucks, i could have the book DELIVERED to my home. grr. so mad. poo. but it had been nice spending time with jac chua =) blessed, at
11:03 PM
Thursday, June 09, 2005
i cut my hair today. sigh. i miss my old hair.
i've realised that i've not been blogging, which goes to show that i am such a lazy girl.
ahaha. blessed, at
8:09 PM
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
i baked cookies with mei today, and i think i devoured like, practically everything.
mm. blessed, at
8:13 PM
Saturday, June 04, 2005
**[~fall to pieces~]** by avril lavinge
i looked away Then i looked back at you You try to say the things that you can't undo if i had my way i'd never get over you today is the day i pray that we make it through make it through the fall make it through it all
and i don't want to fall to pieces i just want to sit and stare at you i don't want to talk about it and i don't want a conversation i just want to cry in front of you i don't want to talk about it 'cause i'm in love with you
you're the only one i'd be with 'til the end when i come undone you bring me back again back under the stars back into your arms
and i don't want to fall to pieces i just want to sit and stare at you i don't want to talk about it and i don't want a conversation i just want to cry in front of you i don't want to talk about it 'cause i'm in love with you
wanna know who you are wanna know where to start i wanna know what this means wanna know how you feel wanna know what is real i wanna know everything everything
and i don't want to fall to pieces i just want to sit and stare at you i don't want to talk about it and i don't want a conversation i just want to cry in front of you i don't want to talk about it
and i don't want to fall to pieces i just want to sit and stare at you i don't want to talk about it and i don't want a conversation i just want to cry in front of you i don't want to talk about it 'cause i'm in love with you i'm in love with you 'sause i'm in love with you i'm in love with you i'm in love with you blessed, at
11:23 AM
Friday, June 03, 2005
aaargh. my ear hurts. last night it was bad. i could hear every single stupid sound in the entire world. kinda like the powerpuff girls. ahaha. hear me roar.
so i went to the doctor today and then rushed to do EL with fiqqie, abz, renee and nissa. after that abz left us and the four of us went and browsed around parkway and then me and renee walked round the library.
so now i'm totally bored at home, rotting my mind out at friendster. blessed, at
5:04 PM
Thursday, June 02, 2005
i normally think marriage is a wonderful thing. it's the most important event that can ever happen and a thing to be celebrated. but i seriously think that auntie nora shouldn't marry someone who she met through smsing and who she's only met officially and in person, two months. granted, they've like, known each other for three years, but only seen each other for two months! that's like, wait, let me get my calculator, two out of twelve times three, thirty six.. they've only seen each other in person one out of sixteenth of the time they've actually known each other. that's like, very bad, isn't it? marriage is like, such an enormous commitment and it lasts for a lifetime, unless you're thinking of divorce, of course. but she looks happy tho nervous. so i guess i'll be happy for her too. even tho i'm super afraid he'll turn out to be a con man and break her heart in the end. if she's happy, i'm happy. i mean, she's like, the older sister i never had.
so hooray for her marriage. i mean it. really. blessed, at
6:02 PM
the world is so wonderful and i love everything except tuition. blessed, at
9:42 AM
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
today was fuuun. during amaths sup lessons, me and dee talked throughout bout the good ol' days at rss and i got told off by mrs loy. ahehe. and then afterwards me, jac chua and phoe went to the beach! i love east coast park. i really envy jac ow for managing to snag a job at one of the coolest places on spore. it's such a pleasant place. and there are always guys to ogle!! i told that to jac chua and she called me 'conniving'. haha. evil girl. and the scenery is so nice and the bikes there aren't bad.
so we went there, but not before having a bite to eat at macs. and then we went on to rent bikes and we cycled and then we met phoe's ballet friend, amanda. she has the most incredible stamina ever! she was blading and she kept up with us and she wasn't panting or anything and she has the most incredibly slim legs. thumbs up to her . =) so we cycled and cycled and cycled and then we cycled onto the bedok jetty and i remembered the time when me and mummy and daddy and mei had gone there armed with food and fold up chairs and sat there watching the fireworks one new year. such a nice memory. and the ships ponned their ponning noise to celebrate the new year!
and then we sorta hanged around bedok jetty to enjoy the breeze. it was drizzling lightly but it as okay. i couldn't see the horizon at all. ships were abundant and the sea was super calm. and then jac said something like, "calm before the storm". she perched herself on the railing so pecariously and i was afraid that she would drop into the ocean, but she didn't. good for her. i can't swim very well. so she'll drown. ahaha. =) afterwards she ran over a dead fish lying in the middle of the jetty. the poor fish. subjected to such torture. being yanked out of the sea by a vicious hook at its mouth and then run over by an unsuspecting girl who was hanging out with her friends. *shake head* we could see parkway from where we wre, it was far away! and then we marvelled at how fit we were. ahaha.
then we cycled on and on somemore, and then we took a breather and posed funny poses on the rocks and relaxed there. it was so calm and peaceful and i was so happy. phoe went to the toilet and me and jac threw our shoes off and threw ourselves into the sea. nah, we just walked barefooted. not so extreme. but it felt good and brought back lovely memories of me and my wonderful friends last year and the glorious times we had spent at the beach. remember our sand fight, carissa? another reason why i love the beach so much is because a lot of my bet memories happened there. like the pact that me and carissa and siwei made when i was at the lowest point of my life. like the times that me, ethel, joslyn, carissa and siwei and jac ow would spend there were so memorable and i lvoe tehm alotalot. but i love phoe and jac chua alotalot too and i'm so blessed to have both parties, my old friends and my new friends. and new memories are just waiting to be made! old memories are nice and enjoyable but the future is so free for us to create new, wonderful memories and then i'll have more nice memories once we create those new memories! =)
i digress a lot, don't i? ahaha.
so we were walking around in the sea and then amanda took off her blades and joined us and phoe didn't come out of teh toilet for a long time and i was worried that she got stuck in the toilet bowl or something because she was taking a very long time. but she came out in the end. and then all of us walked around barefooted, feeling the cool, cool sea beneath our feet. and then we found a dead jellyfish on the beach and it was so interesting! i've never seen one so large. i wanted to see it's heart, because, you know, it's translucent and everything but i couldn't, it was covered in sand and everything. so we poked and prodded it a bit and then amanda was super brave. she took a stick and flipped it over (breaking a number of sticks before her successful attempt) and then we saw a teeny little fish stuck to it's underside and we speculated whether the jellyfish had been trying to eat teh fish before it was swept ashore. and then amanda returned the jellyfish to the sea with a slipper that she found and then we said sayonara to the jellyfish.
and then we cycled furiously back to the bike shop and were so poofed after that. i have develoed muscles on my legs! aaa.. my thighs ache. phoe had to rush off to ballet and we were worried that it would get too hot and then we wouldn't be able to enjoy ourselves. we ran into jac ow and melwang! so qiao. ahaha. then me and jac chua said goodbye to phoe and went to the library and scouted for books. i ended up borrowing a book on world mythology, a hundred secret senses by amy tan and 2 Fearless books. and we were so tired after that.
what a day. =) blessed, at
6:34 PM
kathleen ong xinwei
tkgian. 4e9 '06. dance club
new creation church
to glorify His name all my life :)
to get into VJC
and into Oxford unversity
all family and friends to be blessed, always
